Mother’s Day holds a particularly special place in my heart because nine years ago, my oldest son was born on that day. While his birthday doesn’t coincide with Mother’s Day this year, we often find ourselves celebrating both occasions together. In our family, celebrating one naturally means celebrating the other. After all, it was his birth that marked the beginning of my journey into motherhood.
For some mothers, the connection to motherhood is immediate, happening either at childbirth or even during pregnancy. However, for me, embracing this role and the profound shift in identity it brought took time. I mourned the loss of my independence. I grappled with changes to my body and felt mentally drained by the constant responsibility of caring for another human being. There were moments of resentment and darkness, feelings I know are shared by many mothers at some point. It was a challenging time for me so I sympathize with anyone else who feels that way at one moment or another. It is not easy.
Support can be crucial to adapting to parenthood
Two things helped me a great deal: getting outdoors and seeking the support of others. Despite initial resistance, I found solace in daily outdoor walks with my baby. I came to appreciate the fresh air and physical activity and started to view each walk as an accomplishment. Having support from my partner was also invaluable. We sat down for a heart-to-heart conversation and established a schedule that allowed me breaks and much-needed rest. Connecting with other parents through activities like those offered by the Family Matters program also provided a sense of solidarity and understanding.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but I gradually settled into my role as a mother. Although I was a bit fearful at the prospect of another child and how I would cope, it was a much smoother transition for me. Not only had I already navigated the initial transition into motherhood, I had grown to discover joy in the challenges and rewards that parenthood brings. In the end, knowing I went through this struggle and came out the other end just fine helped to build my confidence as a parent. Now, I cherish every moment with my children. I adore how they make me see the world differently, through their lens of curiosity, innocence, playfulness and creativity. The time I have with them is valuable and it is a privilege to be their source of comfort, guidance and love.
Not only does my work as a program coordinator of Family Matters allow me to connect with other parents, but it also confirms the fact that each person’s journey into parenthood is unique and valid. Whether the transition is smooth or rocky, it’s important to remember that every parent finds their path, and that goes for both moms and dads. On that note, fathers (and father figures) may also want to check out our WE Dads activities.
If you’re navigating your journey into parenthood, know that it’s okay to take your time and seek support when needed, especially if you don’t have family support nearby. Feel free to reach out—I’m here to listen and support you along the way and share other local resources that can offer you support and even respite at home.
Wishing you a wonderful May and a happy Mother’s Day,
Jessica