Over the past month, I’ve found myself reflecting on how grateful I am for life, health, family, and the safety of where I live. These thoughts often surface when something shakes our sense of security, especially when it relates to health. For me, the fear of not being there for my children is terrifying. It’s a reminder of how vulnerable we really are.
Parenting and perspective
As parents, we carry a quiet awareness of our fragility. But having children also helps us see what truly matters. While it’s natural to reflect on our fears, we can’t live in constant worry. What we can do is focus on what’s within our control—caring for ourselves, being present, and cherishing the time we have with our loved ones. For our children’s sake, we can try to soak in those magical moments and be fully present in both body and mind.
Recently, I’ve had heartfelt conversations with friends and family who’ve lost someone close. Their stories—filled with laughter, music, quiet moments and shared memories—had one thing in common: presence. Being together in those final days was a gift.
One friend spent her father’s last week in palliative care, surrounded by her children and family. As we spoke on the phone, I could hear her kids giggling in the background. She was talking to me and her father at once, weaving us all into one conversation. The warmth and joy in that room were palpable, even through the phone. I cried, moved by how beautifully they embraced that time together.
Children and the dying process
Some people feel uneasy about involving children in the dying process, and that’s okay. We all have our own comfort levels. But these moments can also be deeply enriching, helping children understand death as a natural part of life. My friend’s experience reminded me that even in grief, there can be connection, love and beauty. Being present—for each other and with each other—is one of the greatest gifts we can give.
Talking with children about death
I received a fabulous training this past year from Deuil Jeunesse, a local non-profit organization that accompanies individuals dealing with a death. One thing that really struck me was how clear we need to be with children about death. Children need honesty and openness when it comes to death. The presenter stressed how important it is to use “real” language and vocabulary, such as using the word cancer or heart disease instead of sick or ill, or saying death or dead rather than passed away or gone to sleep.
Children seek the truth and can easily get confused or misunderstand the finality of death if we do not use plain language. To learn more, I encourage you to consult the toolbox available from Deuil Jeunesse. If you prefer something in English, I found that kidsgrief.ca had some wonderful resources, training and tools.
I hope this message encourages you to think critically about the language we use around death and how essential it is to talk to children about it. While it’s vital to have these conversations, it’s even more important to live each day to the fullest and truly enjoy one another. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and happy.
Sending you lots of love and positive vibes this month,
Jessica 🌞